oh ya. . on sunday. . . i felt fear. . dread. . . angst. . . and more dread. . .. for a while i didnt know why. . . then i realised that. .. monday, poly started. . .. . and a teeny bit of me knew that my friends would be. .. ya know. . making lotsa lotsa good friends. . and. . . welll. . . i felt like i was losing them la. . . and that isnt very comforting . . . they'll be busy and all too. . . and and. . hais. . . i felt a sense of loss. . . and helplessness. . haix. . . yeah. . . feel as if i'm being left behind in a race . . . but its my fault for nt studying and all. . . so . . well. . . drifted off to sleep with a great sense of unease. ..